“Adversity is the state in which man most easily becomes acquainted with himself”. John Wooden
There a millions of pages of literature on success – not so many on adversity. How you define success draws the line between success and adversity. I see success as that sense of peaceful satisfaction that comes from knowing that I’ve given something my very best effort, and persisted until I have either reached the initial goal, or divested myself from that pathway through sound reasoning.
Life is a journey, not a destination. And the same can be said of success. Success is often thought of being the attainment of some tangible goal – that it is an end point. But most highly successful people will attest that once a goal is reached, the moment of satisfaction is somewhat fleeting. It’s time to set a higher goal. It is the driving towards the next goal that energises and sustains us, not the achievement.
Every person and every experience is an opportunity to learn. It is also an opportunity to succeed or fail – depending on your perspective. When you measure yourself against another person – you fail before you start. Their values are different from yours, so their measures of success are also different. You can only succeed against goals that are meaningful to you – not goals that are solely meaningful to others. So don’t try to play another person’s game – play your own game, one where you make the rules, and where you determine success or failure.
The only failure in life, is not trying. No attempt towards a worthy goal, even if that goal is not reached, can ever be deemed a failure. I fail often. I set lofty goals, and often find that along the path, life happens, and tends to divert the path or end it. But I cherish my failures as much as my successes because it indicates to me that I am continually pushing myself beyond my comfort zone, and beyond my current level of knowledge and capability. However, along the way to that ‘failure’ point, I learn more, and gain more skills, that I can then apply to another goal that I may not have previously contemplated.
My life has been a twisted path of moments of genius and grunge. But I have been dux and debutante, skied mountains and lakes, flown jets and helicopters, made money and lost money, married and divorced, written and published books and websites, had children and grandchildren, led the development of man and machines…and I haven’t finished yet. The important thing is that in amongst my life adventures I have had great successes and great failures. And for each one, only I have determined the outcome. I have become friends with both success and adversity. Adversity is part of adventure – it is part of life. One can wallow in its shadow or triumph in its ashes.
Become friends with adversity, it may be one of the most valued friends you will ever have.
Author: Gail La Grouw. Insight Mastery Program Director, and Strategic Performance Consultant for Coded Vision Ltd.
